Loneliness can be debilitating and isolating. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With treatment and practice, you can overcome loneliness.
It’s important to talk about your feelings of loneliness with someone you trust. This could be a friend or family member, a counselor, or a support group.
1. It’s not the answer
Often, when you jump into a relationship to ease loneliness, it’s actually just an attempt at self-medication. Your emotional needs are valid and important to tend to, but there’s no reason you should have to wait for a partner to help you feel better about yourself.
Instead, work on your mental wellness by learning to love yourself. You can do this by staying connected to loved ones and finding other ways to socialize (e.g., a Zoom party, a book club on FaceTime, or cooking dinner with your friends).
Avoid focusing on what you don’t have and focus on what you do have instead. For example, if you’re lonely in your current relationship, take steps to improve your lifestyle by eating healthy, exercising, getting good sleep, and challenging your distorted thoughts. You’ll find that your loneliness diminishes as you focus on being a healthier and happier person. This is true even if your relationship doesn’t end up working out.
2. It’s not the solution
Despite popular belief, you can be in a committed relationship and still feel lonely. Loneliness is more about how you feel about your connectedness to other people. If you’re feeling isolated from your spouse or other close friends, consider taking up a hobby, joining a running club, or volunteering. These activities can provide new ways to connect with others and bring meaning to your life.
If you’re feeling lonely in your current relationship, it’s important to talk about it with your partner. Be careful not to accuse them or place blame, but let them know that you’re not satisfied with the relationship and are looking for ways to make it more fulfilling.
Some couples fall into the trap of dating as a way to avoid loneliness, but this can be a dangerous road to travel down. A romantic relationship should be a source of support, connection, and love, not a dumping ground for issues you failed to resolve on your own.
Many people feel lonely while in a relationship, and this can have a lot to do with expectations that are not being met. If you are feeling lonely in a relationship, try talking to your partner about it and see if they are experiencing the same thing. If they are, you can work together to address the issue and rebuild a sense of connection. You can also explore other ways to increase feelings of connection, such as pursuing solo activities that you enjoy or investing in your relationships with friends and family.
In short, while romantic relationships can be very helpful in building closeness, they are not the answer for everyone. If you are feeling lonely, consider what is contributing to your loneliness and seek out the help of a professional therapist if needed. You can find more support by using our online directory to search for a therapist in your area who specializes in couples therapy.
People can feel lonely even when they’re in a relationship. Loneliness is a feeling of disconnectedness, and it can come from many different things, including the person you’re with. You can be surrounded by other people and still feel loneliness, for example, because your spouse has an annoying habit like leaving every cabinet door open or squabbling over petty issues.
Loneliness can also occur when a relationship is not fulfilling your needs, such as emotional or physical intimacy, work/life balance, and personal goals. Loneliness can also be caused by abusive relationships, which can cause feelings of isolation and emotional distance.
In these cases, it may be best to find a new partner or make alternative arrangements to get your social needs met, such as arranging Zoom parties with friends, hosting a book club on IG, cooking dinner over FaceTime with family, or joining a community organization. However, dating is not the answer for everyone and can lead to a series of problems if used as a band-aid.